What Is Active Listening?
Active listening involves mastering a host of other skills, from learning to read subtle cues to controlling your own emotional response.. It requires both empathy and self-awareness.
Active listening is when you not only hear what someone is saying, but also attune to their thoughts and feelings. It turns a conversation into an active, non-competitive, two-way interaction.
Robin Abrahams and Boris Groysberg from Harvard Business School describe active listening as having three aspects: cognitive, emotional, and behavioral.
- Cognitive: Paying attention to all the information, both explicit and implicit, that you are receiving from the other person, comprehending, and integrating that information
- Emotional: Staying calm and compassionate during the conversation, including managing any emotional reactions (annoyance, boredom) you might experience
- Behavioral: Conveying interest and comprehension verbally and nonverbally
Getting good at active listening is a lifetime endeavor. However, even minor improvements can make a big difference in your listening effectiveness.
This metaphor from leadership consultants Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman might also be helpful in understanding what active listening is: “You’re not a sponge merely absorbing information. Instead, think of yourself more like a trampoline that gives the speaker’s thoughts energy, acceleration, height, and amplification.”
Understand your default listening style
One of the misconceptions around this soft skill is that there is one way to do it — you’re either listening or you’re not. But, there are different styles that you need to be able to shift between, depending on the speaker’s needs.
First, it’s important to reflect and ask, “How do I usually listen?”
Minehart and her coauthors, in their work in the health care field, observed four distinct listening styles:
- A task-oriented listener is focused on efficiency, and shapes a conversation around the transfer of important information.
- An analytical listener aims to analyze a problem from a neutral starting point.
- A relational listener seeks to build connection and understand and respond to the emotions underlying a message.
- A critical listener typically judges both the content of the conversation and the speaker themselves.
You may, out of habit, default to one of these modes in most situations. And that’s ok. The key is to develop the awareness to understand which mode you typically use.
Knowing your default style can help you make a conscious, deliberate choice about whether to use that style or choose a different mode that’s more appropriate for the specific situation.
(Reference: https://hbr.org/2024/01/what-is-active-listening)
